Self — Writing Things

Is it time to revisit your New Year's Resolution?

We’ve just about come to that point in January where, for many of us, the gust of novelty and promise of a new year is beginning to wear thin. We’re no longer writing and then having to scribble out ‘2023’ when marking down a date. 2024 is starting to settle in. All those ‘I’ll deal with it in the new year’ tasks are also coming back to roost. And, according to Norcross and Vangarello's findings, at the time of writing, between 34 and 40 percent of people reading this will have abandoned their resolution from the New Year.

Suffice it all to say: If you’ve found yourself at this point in January and your resolve is starting to shake, you are far from alone. If our goals for the year are starting to head south, how might we rejuvenate the motivation and energy to bring a resolution back to life?

Productivity, Self, Human BehaviourSonia DiabJanuary 18, 2024self, resolutions, goals, goal setting, self development, change, persistence

The Rituals That Make Us: Part 2

If we were to perceive some common societal rituals for the first time, I bet many would feel almost like a practical joke. From brides throwing bouquets to people lining up for hours to get the best Black Friday deals; from memorialising moments by taking pictures of ourselves on little handheld devices, to gender reveal parties. Humans are weird. Again, shared meaning is imperative as we operate in this broader social and cultural context. The last edition of this newsletter focussed more on individual rituals and their impacts, but, of course, many rituals operate as effective mechanisms for human togetherness. I found it interesting that Dad and the other people I spoke with all told stories of rituals that were shared with other people. Social rituals bring us closer through this shared meaning, helping us move through difficult experiences like grief and loss, celebrate change, or simply facilitate feelings of connection and social identity. In more ways than one, it’s the rituals that make us.

Self, Philosophy, Human BehaviourSonia DiabJanuary 4, 2024rituals, new year, goals, goal setting, philosophy, change, self, self development

The Rituals That Make Us: Part 1

The power of rituals for performance, meaning, and connection

In a 2013 experiment, participants were each provided with a chocolate bar.

Some participants were given no further instruction beyond that they had to eat the chocolate bar. Others, however, were told to follow a specific process (p. 5):

“Without unwrapping the chocolate bar, break it in half. Unwrap half of the bar and eat it. Then, unwrap the other half and eat it.”

The study found that those who participated in this ritual enjoyed the experience of eating the chocolate more than those who had no ritual. These participants also evaluated the chocolate as tastier, and they spent a longer time actually eating it than those without the ritual. Their perceived value of the chocolate was also higher, based on responses when asked how much they’d be prepared to spend on the chocolate.

And it all came down to the ritual.

Human Behaviour, Connection, SelfSonia DiabOctober 23, 2023rituals, performance

How to release unrealistic expectations

Perfectionistic striving, perfectionistic concerns, and the power of curiosity

I am, and always have been, what you might call the stereotypical perfectionist: Classic type A operator, high expectations of the self, etc. etc.

Of course, I’m not alone here - perfectionism is only becoming more common. One meta-analysis examining different cohorts from 1989 to 2016, for example, led researchers to assert that all types of perfectionism have been increasing over time. They found more recent generations of university pupils identified with more socially-prescribed perfectionism than their predecessors, stating, “This finding suggests that young people are perceiving that their social context is increasingly demanding, that others judge them more harshly, and that they are increasingly inclined to display perfection as a means of securing approval.”

And different types of perfectionism can have negative impacts. For example, research has found links between perfectionistic tendencies and procrastination, with indications that discrepancies may be an important factor between the two: That is, negative interpretations that I’ve not met the standards I expect for myself, and other intense self-evaluations. More maladaptive types of perfectionism have also been linked to more stress, personal and professional burnout, and even potential impacts on physical health.

Human Behaviour, SelfSonia DiabSeptember 10, 2023curiosity, perfectionism, expectations, self, self development