connection — Writing Things

Humans are pretty self-oriented.

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense. After all, how could a species like ours survive if we didn’t, consciously or unconsciously, keep ourselves at the centre of our human experience?

This self-centrism is arguably one of the reasons why finding common ground with someone can fast-track connection and influence. In Robert Cialdini’s classic 1980’s book Influence, he puts it simply:

“We like people who are like us. It’s a fact that applies to human infants as young as nine months and holds true later in life whether the similarity is in the area of opinions, personality traits, background, or lifestyle.” (2021 edition, p. 84)

We’ve all experienced that instant ‘buzz’ when you meet someone for the first time and realise you have something in common. And the buzz will often heighten if that commonality is a niche interest or experience. Perhaps you suddenly feel closer to the person, like you know them at a much deeper level despite only learning a little more information. As it turns out, the power of similarity and belonging goes pretty deep…

I'm staring up your nostrils in 4K but here's a smiley emoji

Zoom fatigue and similar constructs generally describe the experience of exhaustion caused by sitting in many virtual meetings for long stretches of time; a process that seems disproportionately more draining than in-person work.

Research shows that this phenomenon tends to increase alongside app usage frequency, though notably, the quality of your internet connection also plays a role. And, as we might expect, ongoing exhaustion from poorly managed video calls could be a cause for concern. For example, some research has found a positive correlation between videoconferencing fatigue and burnout and depression.

Given the ubiquity of Zoom fatigue, researchers have been hard at work exploring this process in more depth. In a fantastic 2021 article, four theoretical arguments are presented by media psychologist Bailenson, all centring on the idea of Zoom causing ‘non-verbal overload’…

The counter-intuitive effects of incidental social interactions on wellbeing

In his book Friends, renowned evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar highlights the plethora of studies demonstrating the psychological and physical benefits of close social ties. Aside from emotional support and social fulfilment, friendships also link to longer life spans and reduced risk of disease, and play a role in psychological well-being.

As it turns out, though, connection and the benefits that accompany it are not limited to our closest family and friends. Weak ties — acquaintances, strangers — can also provide significant benefits.